Pre holiday burnout.

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I really need a holiday!
I have just finished night shift, it is eight a.m and I am now on holidays. For about four weeks leading up to these holidays I have struggled coming to work everyday. I have been having serious thoughts about changing what I do. After twenty-two years of nursing, and possibly another twenty-two ahead of me. Do I really want to ever say I spent forty-four years nursing? I’m also a bit worried about what a cranky old cow I’ll be by then given the apparent “years worked in ED v’s cranky old cow ratio”. There are so many issues in nursing, in my own workplace and in my life, that I am frustrated with.  So I have been mulling over the question what do I want to do? Do I want to be a nurse somewhere else in the hospital? Do I want to be a nurse in a different setting like a clinic? Do I even want to be a nurse at all? I have looked into a couple of things, but it’s hard to search for a job when you don’t know what you want to do.
My current work issues at the moment are wide ranging, the following are just a few:-
New junior doctors with “know it all attitudes”.
Extreme paperwork overload for every patient.
Poor nursing skillmix (not enough senior nurses).
Things that change overnight, department wide with no notification.
Gossip.
Mess.
Petty people.
Shift work.
People who think they are s#%t hot but their not.
Poor nursing care (relates to previous point).
My frustration that the Emergency department serves as the “too hard basket” for others.
No beds.
Payroll problems.
Vicarious trauma.
Illicit drug takers.
Drug seekers.
Drunk drivers.
People who take no responsibility for their own health care.
People who expect taxi vouchers but have 2 packs of cigarettes in their hand.
People who request Christmas and new year off even though everyone knows you can’t have both.
The things that currently keep me where I am.
All the fantastic doctors and nurses that I work with every day.
Working in the best Emergency Department in this state (I can’t compare to other states).
Working in the only hospital I really want to work in.
Ocassionally making a difference in peoples lives.
The effort required to be bothered applying for a new job.
The “same s#€t, different bucket” thought.
Not knowing what else I want to do.
Not wanting to go to uni again. Yet.
So right now I need to go to bed, have a sleep, have my holiday and write another blog in four weeks time and see if I’ve been cured by holidays or wheather I need to update my resume.
Have you ever felt like this about your job? Help! What did you do?
I would love to hear from you.
Stay safe, be happy.
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One response »

  1. Yup! That’s why I was so sour when I resigned (mainly lack of holidays). Did a stint in anaesthetics (BORING!) But it was a lovely break that I really think I needed. Still find myself once a week asking why I bother working in ED when I could go work in outpatients and have a stress free job. Guess we are just attracted to the shit!

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