The mother lie detector test.


My children cannot lie to me. Pinocchio_LyingThey can try. But I can always tell a lie. For years now if I don’t believe something or I am trying to get to the bottom of who’s telling the truth, when they are both standing there saying “he did it”, I always ask them to look me in the eye and tell me they didn’t do it. Or what ever statement would be appropriate for each situation. Only the child telling the truth passes the test. I have always instilled in them the honesty involved in having them look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Equally when they are trying to convince me of the truth they will say to me “Mum look me in the eye while I tell you so you know I’m telling the truth”. I amaze even myself that I have manipulated them so perfectly that there is nothing that they can get by me, if I only ask. The give away is that they cannot keep a straight face and after several attempts at “I did not push him over” etc. each with a smirk or a giggle they finally confess.

Recently whilst I was driving, there was the usual bantering argument going on and then one boy yells “Aaaah, mum he pulled my hair!”. Now to me that cry of outrage sounded over the top and put on, and this child had tried this several times recently. I didn’t know which one to believe, one saying he did it the other one saying I didn’t do anything. When I finally parked I turned in my seat and got them one at a time to say to me “He pulled my hair” and “I did not pull his hair”. As it turns out hair had been pulled and the offender was in trouble. My perpetrator son then made me suffer his lies about five times as he attempted to beat the lie detecter test. When he finally realised his attempts were futile he threw his hands in the air and said to me, “Mum you should go and work at the courts and the judge could just say to the criminal “look Bernie in the eye and tell her you didn’t kill your wife. It would save them a fortune”. I had to laugh, he was so exasperated.
Now the next stage of this experiment will be to test how this works on the teenager. So far it is still a fool proof method. Of course it will only work if I know what I need to ask, I will never detect a lie if it isn’t spoken out loud. As yet it has never been truly put to the test in a serious situation. I don’t think there has been the need for her to lie yet. Only time will tell. At this stage she  is still telling me all sorts of interesting information that most 15 year olds would not be sharing with mum. However as I live in the real world, and was once a teenager myself, I know the time will come, I think the key will be to ask questions. Lots of questions!!
Stay safe, be happy,
Screen Shot 2012-10-09 at 11.07.57 AM

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