Category Archives: Life & the Universe

All the Answers, just ask me!

Life Begins at Forty.

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IMG_3136If you have been reading from the start you will know that my blog has come about by my personal musings and some significant milestones and rites of passage of some family members and myself, one of which is me turning forty. Well I have finally reached the forty milestone. Which my older sister-in-law tells me is the “easy one”. And I have to agree. I have enjoyed and embraced the lead up and first month of turning forty. I believe a big part of this is attitude and a little bit of scheming on my part. I have already talked about having had my children in my twenties and my mindset has always been “life begins at forty”. See the “About” section above.

Due to a fantastic opportunity for my husband to attend an overseas conference with his company we engaged the help of my mum and dad, and abandoned our three children for three weeks and travelled to Dallas Texas, for his conference and on to New York and Hawaii for my birthday. So in my mind this very exciting trip was intricately linked with turning forty. I think Pavlov did experiments on his dog exactly like this.

There were so many firsts for me. I had only been away from the kids for one night twice before. I had never travelled overseas before and haven’t even been to all the states or capital cities of Australia. A little bit boring I know but when all my friends were doing the backpacking and traveling thing I decided I wasn’t very interested and bought my first house instead. Being a country girl from a tropical climate I experienced the cold of a New York winter and saw snow for the first time. I travelled in the biggest aeroplane I had ever been in and did the longest long haul flight in the world for my first trip. My husband did all the planning and had lots of surprises and exciting activities for us to do whilst there. Some of the highlights were visiting the old school book depository where JFK was assassinated from, seeing the Statue of Liberty, the World Trade Centre Memorial site, seeing artworks by Picasso, Monet and Van Gough at the Guggenheim, seeing a show on broadway, riding the New York subway, climbing a volcano and visiting Pearl Harbour. I also have to say the shopping was fantastic.

Of course I missed my children and they missed us but they were lovingly cared for by their grandparents and they now have a little more appreciation of the effort mum and dad go to for them. My parents have also realised how much time and effort we put in, and appreciate all the effort we go to for all the things our kids do with school and sport.

Another great thing about getting older is the long service leave that has accrued on your payslip for the last twenty something years. I added three weeks of this to my holidays this time and I am sure the eight weeks leave I have taken has helped me feel so relaxed and happy at this time in my life.

So bring it on. Loving life. Loving forty. Wouldn’t ever want to be younger than thirty ever again. Happy, healthy, financially secure, with good friends and a happy healthy loving family, what more could anyone ask for? I’m a very lucky lady and I know, appreciate and give thanks for it everyday.

Stay safe, be happy

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The mother lie detector test.

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My children cannot lie to me. Pinocchio_LyingThey can try. But I can always tell a lie. For years now if I don’t believe something or I am trying to get to the bottom of who’s telling the truth, when they are both standing there saying “he did it”, I always ask them to look me in the eye and tell me they didn’t do it. Or what ever statement would be appropriate for each situation. Only the child telling the truth passes the test. I have always instilled in them the honesty involved in having them look me in the eye and tell me the truth. Equally when they are trying to convince me of the truth they will say to me “Mum look me in the eye while I tell you so you know I’m telling the truth”. I amaze even myself that I have manipulated them so perfectly that there is nothing that they can get by me, if I only ask. The give away is that they cannot keep a straight face and after several attempts at “I did not push him over” etc. each with a smirk or a giggle they finally confess.

Recently whilst I was driving, there was the usual bantering argument going on and then one boy yells “Aaaah, mum he pulled my hair!”. Now to me that cry of outrage sounded over the top and put on, and this child had tried this several times recently. I didn’t know which one to believe, one saying he did it the other one saying I didn’t do anything. When I finally parked I turned in my seat and got them one at a time to say to me “He pulled my hair” and “I did not pull his hair”. As it turns out hair had been pulled and the offender was in trouble. My perpetrator son then made me suffer his lies about five times as he attempted to beat the lie detecter test. When he finally realised his attempts were futile he threw his hands in the air and said to me, “Mum you should go and work at the courts and the judge could just say to the criminal “look Bernie in the eye and tell her you didn’t kill your wife. It would save them a fortune”. I had to laugh, he was so exasperated.
Now the next stage of this experiment will be to test how this works on the teenager. So far it is still a fool proof method. Of course it will only work if I know what I need to ask, I will never detect a lie if it isn’t spoken out loud. As yet it has never been truly put to the test in a serious situation. I don’t think there has been the need for her to lie yet. Only time will tell. At this stage she  is still telling me all sorts of interesting information that most 15 year olds would not be sharing with mum. However as I live in the real world, and was once a teenager myself, I know the time will come, I think the key will be to ask questions. Lots of questions!!
Stay safe, be happy,
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Welcome to “Accidentally Bernie”!

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I have come to a point in my life where I have started attending my friends fortieth Birthday Parties. Long gone are the twenty first’s, the engagement parties, weddings and christenings. Gone are the thirtieth’s and here I am about to enter my forties. I have always thought, and said that for me “life begins at forty”. I’m not waiting to get to forty to start living, but I feel that my forties will be a time for “me”.
Life carries us along, I often have moments where I realize that I am the “adult” that as a teenager I couldn’t wait to be. From school I decided to become a nurse and worked to achieve that goal,  which took me along a path that looking back, is the same as it looked from the other end as a seventeen year old looking forward, just with the details more defined. So I guess that means that up to now life has turned out pretty much how I had planned. I consider myself very lucky to be able to say this, when my work involves unexpected death and trauma often with young people, it makes me very aware of how precious and unpredictable life is.
I met my husband along the way, married and had our three children. This was during a time when twenty three was considered young to be having children and many other mothers were closer to forty. But I always knew, during the busy baby, trying toddler and early child hood years that when I turned forty my daughter would have just turned sixteen and my boys will be twelve and eleven. And compared to that tied down, isolated, overwhelmed, sleep-deprived and chaotic phase of caring for three small children, forty was the light at the end of my tunnel!
I don’t feel a sense of gloom about turning forty. I have no regrets about my life so far and my mid life pondering’s have not driven me to the extremes of buying a sports car, moving overseas or joining a new religion. No, my mid life “crisis” has led me to the decision to write this blog. This is about extreme as I get! Twenty years ago it would have just been a journal. But in this new age of apps and the Internet, here we are.This blog is for me and about me. Not primarily to entertain, but hopefully that will be the end result for my readers. Along the way there will be some parenting tips and advice, feel free to learn from my mistakes, a funny story or two and some good old fashioned common sense to be taken from the ramblings of someone who can, at the very least, say she has some life experience! I am doing this with the expectation that for me it will be like therapy. Putting all the thoughts that go around and around in my head down on “paper”.So With twenty-two years of nursing experience, eighteen years of relationship experience, (with one husband) and sixteen years of parenting experience I hope to share with you, who I am, what I do, where I come from and where I am headed. Because for the first time in my life the path ahead is not so clear. I hope you will join me for the journey.Make sure you click on the link to follow my blogs.

You will never see your name but you may read about you’re behaviour!

I would love you to leave a comment below, especially for my first blog!

Stay safe, be happy!

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My friend’s fortieth birthday.